This is a repost

I read this the other day, and thought I'd share it.

10-26-05

"BAGHDAD, Oct. 25 -- After 31 months of fighting in Iraq, more than half of all American fatalities are now being caused by powerful roadside bombs that blast fiery, lethal shrapnel into the cabins of armored vehicles, confronting every patrol with an unseen, menacing adversary that is accelerating the U.S. death toll.

U.S. military officials, analysts and militants themselves say insurgents have learned to adapt to U.S. defensive measures by using bigger, more sophisticated and better-concealed bombs known officially as improvised explosive devices, or IEDs. They are sometimes made with multiple artillery shells and Iranian TNT, sometimes disguised as bricks, boosted with rocket propellant, and detonated by a cell phone or a garage door opener."
-The Washington Post

My mother always told me I was good at things. I could play in the yard like none other, I was a Skip-Bo champion, and later in life, I was a better Home Improvement Salesman than Sal Junda. Lego creations were made. The hospital, the firehouse, the Lego Whorehouse, the list goes on. I'm smart ok? Just fucking get over yourself and say "Gee, Sloth is smarter than I am." I want you to say that right now. Creative too. I made Lego Boba Fetts, Lego Batpeople, I put the yellow 4 blocker in my asshole, I made the great wall of China out of Legos. You need to seriously get off my case. Then I grew up and had a lead foot.

Only fucking pussys drive slow. Pussys or fucking goddamn old people. Why doesn't anybody say, "You can't drive anymore, you're too fucking old. You might have a seizure and start talking to someone who isn't there, old." Every time I drive fast I get a ticket. Except when on the Interstate. I have driven on the interstate 64 more times than you have. Trust me. Way more times. I know more about it too. I know how to get to Portsmouth from Chesapeake. I know how to get to Yorktown from Pungo. I know how to get from Emporia to South Norfolk. I know how to get from Suffolk to Richmond. So when I drive fast I get tickets. Because those fucking cops, those fucking cops, (repeated again for double emphasis in place of italics) always shoot me with their poor excuse for a phallic totem, the fucking radar gun. I could be doing 61 in a 55 and I will get electronically sniped from a distance of 450,500 feet. If we have the technology to monitor how fast a speeding car is going above the set limit, why DONT WE HAVE A FUCKING ROADSIDE BOMB DETECTOR? What in the fuck.

If those terrorists were speeding on 17 they'd be fucking caught. They wouldn't have time to say "Jujujuju" or whatever the fuck they speak before they were popped by York County's finest on his home tour from Dunkin Donuts. Millions of dollars. Per day. And we don't have the technology to detect the home-made equivalent of high tech cherry bombs? Fuck me. Dying for your country is one thing, but dying because the leaders of your country are imbecilic, thats another.

Sunday

I went skydiving! It was the most awesome thing I've done in a loooonnnggg time.

Revelation of the day

I have to work a little over 2 hours in order to earn enough money to buy a $30 tank of gas. That's before taxes. This does not make me happy.

The Art of Denial

Last week, somebody called me "mentally sound." Ok, before I get comments assuring me to the contrary, let me be a tad more accurate. What they actually said was that they believed me to be more mentally sound than them. That can be misleading depending on who I'm being compared to. But still, I never thought I'dd hear those words from anyone.

Let me tell you the secret to my sanity - or at least the way I deal with most things. Denial. Denial. Denial.

Because of my previously mentioned OCD, unless I consciously deny that something exists, I'll continue to think about it ... constantly.

You might ask how you can consciously deny something. By definition, if you make yourself conscious of it, aren't you still thinking about it? I haven't figured it out the details yet. Just humor me.

I usually try one of several methods. When the bad thought pops into my head I'll either 1) switch to thinking about something else, or 2) think of all the things I hated about that thing, or 3) I tend to imagine "alternate endings" to deal with situations I'd rather forget. And because of this, I often mistake my alternate world with real memories. I call it self-induced brainwashing. My theory of method #2 is that thinking about all the negative things about something will automatically make you not want to think about it anymore.

So I figure if I'm in denial long enough, by the time I decide to actually face the issue head on, so much time has passed that it's not such a big deal anymore.

Of course keep in mind that it can also backfire by delaying your recovery over the object of denial because, well, you denied its existence for so long.

But folks, this is an art, not a science.

Public Service Announcement

50 THINGS GIRLS WISHED GUYS KNEW!
1. Don't tell us whenyou think other girls are hot

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

5. Don't ever tempt us to break up with you...we'll do it, I promise

6. We think about you all the time.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

8. Pay attention. Remember even the little things we tell you.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . .but overly possessive is not necessary.

10. Being able tomake us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.

11. Return favors

12.NEVER let uswalk away. We walk, you follow.

13.We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty,honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. Don't ask, just kiss us

20. Do not startwith us. You will not win.

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.

24. We have an excuse to act mean...at least once a month.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . even at our house and getting into the car.

26. We love surprises

27. We liked to be kissed softly

28. We pay attention to the little things you do.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always brush your teeth before you see us

32. We like it when you are willing to break the rules for us.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything
we are.

34. "Hit it and quit it" is not an option

35. Don't act hard around your friends

36. "NO!" really means "NO!"

37. "Wife Beaters" arenot an adequate form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do just isn't right.

40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. Don't talk trash about our friends.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45.When we're done, our friends are NOT an option.

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...and it won't be pretty!

50. When the girls get together, we talk aboutEVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.

Exorcisms, etc.

My roommate and I went and saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose Saturday night. I must say, this movie is not only freakishly scary in visual effects, but also raises many many good questions. For some background, this movie is based on the actual trial and events surrounding the exorcism of no other, Emily Rose.

The possession of Emily Rose is either one of two things. Thing number one could be any combination of mental disorders. She could be having some nasty nasty epileptic seizures which caused so much brain damage that she became schizophrenic or psychotic. Or she could've just been schizophrenic to begin with and it was a pretty bad case. Psychotic alone works well, with a little bit of catatonia mixed in. Whatever your choice of mental disorders, it seems to make sense.

Thing number two could be that she was actually possessed by the devil or his cronies. Which could potentially make sense if you believed in that sort of thing. Well, this girl and her family sure did. And so did their priest and their church. It could make sense....but how does it occur? How does one become possessed in the first place? I believe that if your convictions are sincere enough, then you could believe anything you wanted to.

What do you believe? In modern society, could someone become possessed by the devil (or his cronies)? And why would God allow Lucifer to inhabit the soul/mind/body of one of his most devout followers? It seems to me like if God wanted to communicate with people that he'd have to come up with something much better that didn't raise questions about its meaning or its cause. I know that God in the old God days used to send plagues and floods and appeared in burning bushes and miraculous things like that, so what's up with the demonic possession?

Any ideas?

And as a side note, I've had success with my cancer treatments. I still have to use some radioactive skin cream (Efudex) for a couple of more weeks, and it smells bad, but I think my friends have adjusted to the smell.

The diagnosis

Today, at approximately 12:30 p.m., I was diagnosed with cancer. Very unfortunate for me.